Matching socks

And why do you want this job?

The interviewer earnestly asked
(I thought the knighthood) 

But said

the pleasure of working for such a worth-while cause...and no bonus 

And what are you most proud of?

The interviewer inquired as if interested
(I thought getting here on time with matching socks)

But said

my passionate commitment to customer satisfaction

And what would success look like?

The interviewer probed with an air of self satisfaction
(I thought avoiding public scandal and cirrhosis)

But said

improving productivity and quality at the same time as reducing costs 

And what are the barriers to achieving success? The interviewer quizzed smugly
Me convincing you I can do the job and then finding out  I can't and we both look complete fools I said before I could stop myself.

That's the problem with living in a parallel universe and talking to people in the other one.
Bu**er

Matching socks

Interviewers question	Immediate thought	What I said
And why do you want this job?	the knighthood	My passionate commitment to customer satisfaction
And what are you most proud of ?,	getting here on time with matching socks	The sheer pleasure of working a 72 hour week for such a worth- while cause...and  no bonus, I said
What would success look like?	no  scandal or cirrhosis	Improving productivity and quality at the same time as reducing costs I said.
What are the barriers to success?	(Me convincing you I can do it and then finding I can't and we both look complete fools) I said before I could stop myself.

That's the problem with living in a parallel universe and talking to people in the other one.

(Bugger!)

© Liz Redfern

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