Nearly there

how many times

have I been
nearly there
better to travel in hope
than to arrive
O.K. then
is that an ice cream
van that I espy?
in my youth
I'd make that cry
In later years
it's round the next
bend would be
my cheerful lie

© W Botley
All rights reserved

Don't Do That!

My very favourite teacher
Mrs Chandler
how I messed about with her
a gentle soul who disliked violence
Whilst I clowned through lessons
History-English-Maths-RE.
Don't do that, she'd gently chide
but I knew she wouldn't cane me
was I hoping that she would?

© William Botley
All rights reserved 

Hope

I'm sitting on a donkey
a noose about my neck
my friends have hired
Dead-eyed Dick to shoot
the rope in two
I hope it's not his brother
Cross-eyed Pete
that they've sent 
in lieu.

© William Botley
May 2016
All rights reserved

“Where were you when?”

Where were you when
I fell out of my pram?
It was a Princess Windsor II
I'm told,
later used to dam
the stream where
ten spine Sticklebacks swam.
And later still a go-cart,
then renovated for your grand kids.
Where are you now?
On a tablet in the garden
of remembrance.

© William Botley
All rights reserved      

50 words on “Xmas Eve”

Young man
As a magistrate
this Xmas tide
I think all families
should together
abide
so I’m going to give you
twenty eight days
then you’ll all
be together
inside   

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Fifty words give or take on “The Lighthouse”

It’s just a lighthouse to you
but to me it’s home
just a little place amid the foam
storms come and go
that’s life I suppose
it’s been my place
high tide or low
the bucket and spade
my only foe
apart from that
I’m happy being a
lugworm.

© William Botley
All rights reserved

Overheard conversations: 'Waterloo'

Ah, my Bony,

Doesn't it make you feel excited?

By the thunderous battle scene,

when I 'ear zee rifles crack,

it’s like an aphrodisiac -

make you feel like rumpy pumpy ?

Non, it's giving me zee 'eadache

Not tonight, Josephine                               

© William Botley
All rights reserved

Clacton-on-Sea

I'm looking for an assassin. No, actually I am. Montague Thripp that snake, painted me with red hair, when I'm actually natural blond-and the dress I'm wearing in the picture is nothing like the one that cost me £2-12-9d at Marks and Spencer.  This, advertising a guide for 1d!

© William Botley
All rights reserved

The question

Go said the editor
ask the question
of the famous dancer

But when I saw
her expectant shape
I already knew the answer!

© William Botley

All rights reserved

A modest proposal,

A modest proposal,
I thought
but then,
Not every teacher
has a
'Clothing Optional' beach
at their disposal

© William Botley 
All rights reserved

"after that nothing was the same"

standing at the urinal
my best friend Nigel
tried to kiss me
which was rather a shame
after that, nothing was the same

© William Botley

All rights reserved

I remember

I remember everything

it's a talent that I have

a memory for this and that

the slightest thing

will not be missed

Hello! something in my pocket

Oh Bugger!

it's the shopping list                  

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Magic is my name

I hovered fifty feet or more

above the desert’s dusty floor

The magic carpet they provided

was full of holes and draughty sided

The swimming pool was just mirage

at least I dodged the airport charge!

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Felix

Felix the ghost cat

howling at the moon

let me sleep you stupid mog

dawn will be here soon

my throat's been rather

sore of late By God! the

thought occurs-suppose it's me!

I'd better go retrieve the boot

I flung, so cat-a-stroph-ic-le

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Atmosphere

I'm

searching for an atmosphere

to tell my poem to

nothing that's too 'sultry'

no 'cut it with a knife

I don’t want one that's smoky

or electric or ice

I'd like a little frisson

something rather nice

a moment of your company

of undivided empathy

a piece of oh-that's good-a-sphere

sounds rather fine to me                                 

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Shoes

I'm always watching

on the web

for shoes,

small and attractive

but I have to have

four pairs the same

because I'm

an arachnid      

© William Botley

All rights reserved 

The whole thing is awful

            but by far the meanest

            is a visit to the dental hygienist

            last year we had the clumbsy Swede

            but now the harvest's gone to seed

            to kick the gang man's greedy caper

            has driven the burly Niss Croatia

            to drop the hoe

            and grab the scraper

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Hold on just a little while longer

My trousers dangled by a thread

I’ll go and get a pin she said

not another step I muttered

facing backwards to the gutter look there’s Marks & Spencer

over yonder

can’t you

hold on just a little while longer

© William Botley

All rights reserved

A Xmas Poem for our Leader

We’re away for Xmas

but even before we travel

family plans

are beginning to unravel

so sing along ye Xmas bards

for me

another dysfunctional

Yuletide’s on the cards

© William Botley

All rights reserved

Run of the Mill

A mill race is an awful thing

especially for a leaf

spun around from stem to tip

scarcely knowing what is which

apart from that it’s a lovely day

the water’s clear as gin

But there’s something happening

to my branch

Oh bugger I’ve fallen in!

© William Botley                  

All rights reserved